Week Three: In Review (whew!)

Nothing like a small bout of insanity to set you back on the right track. Whew! I wrote Sean a letter and through writing this letter I realized that I do love and I do love him. I only feel detached from that person I am with him because he is what awakens those feelings. When I am left to my own devices, I suppress all of that. It's just a little confusing to me at times. Plus, I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I was PMSing.

Anyways, enough of that. Everyday is a positive new day and I must carry on as though yesterday was not a step back, only a broken step that I struggled through. The past few days have been a little tough. I've been behind in work, bringing it home and procrastinating on it, hence not sleeping. On top of all the PMSing and not sleeping, I've got a cold. But I am ready to carry on! I weighed myself on Saturday to find that I was 235, but this is natural since I was about to rag it up. I've missed two boxing classes because I have been sick, but am determined to get back in the gym tomorrow, regardless of how I feel. I need to stick to it and I miss getting in there. I learned all the names of the people that I work out with and I know people... esp Jesus Chavez... notice when I'm not there. He gives me shit about it every time he doesn't see me there. I'm going to be missing Friday though because my baby sister is graduating high school! Woot woot!

The cleaning front has not been going so well. I've kept my bedroom pretty clean and I've been sorting through shit in the fridge and pantry and giving things away. I've made a teeny tiny bit of head way on my living room but not as much as I would have liked. I need to get everything nice and tidy by Thursday because my grandparents are coming to visit on Sunday.

I am in love with reggae right now. I have no fucking clue why. I think it's because it's a very summery music. I really want to start getting outside more in the fabulous sunshine reading books or something and listening to reggae. Hellz yes. Also, I just discovered tonight this crazy bitch named Susan Powter. Evidently, she lost like 130 pounds in the 90s and was a very famous infomercial chick. She's very all organic, non-processed, whole foods and of course, vegan. She's also an uber-feminist lesbian. I found an ad for her book perusing a vegan cooking site. Anyways, I looked up some info on her and found her youTube channel and she, though bat shit crazy, has some somewhat inspirational and very interesting videos. Her whole thing is "eat, breathe, move, think."

Doesn't her crazy ass make you want to eat a fucking pear? Anyways, I think that is all for tonight. I need to get me some sleep.