Pointless Movie Review: Sex and the City

This is more a review of my own emotional state than that of the movie. If you haven't seen it, don't read it. I don't want to get any god damn, "WAHHHH!!! You spoiled it for me!" comments. This film was so predictable that you probably don't even need to read this to know what happens in the end.

Where I have always tended to like Sex and the City, based upon the fact that it tends to show the reality over some fictitious, happily ever after bull shit. At least that is what I had assumed from the episodes I have seen. This movie was all about happy endings. Everyone got what they wanted in the end. Everyone had love. Awwww.... Let's all take a big mushy collective sigh. Though this to most would seem like something to have you leave the theater with warm fuzzies, especially if you are involved with someone, it left me feeling incredibly depressed and like I wanted to go home and cry.

I swear... The rest of this will probably harm my integrity as a human being, but I need to get it the fuck off my chest.

Can I fucking feel? I mean seriously. That shit in that movie. I am the happiest I have ever been when I am with Sean. He brings such amazingness to my life and is incredibly sweet for the most part. But when we are apart, I completely fucking second guess this. I can't even tell if I really fucking feel for him or if it's that when he is here I just get so caught up in the warm fuzzy feelings of being with him for the two weeks at a time that I get once every three or four or six months. I would have a conversation with him about this, but him being in god damned Afghanistan puts a little fucking damper on us having any real conversations. And when we are really together, his mind is too preoccupied with the fact that he hasn't gotten his dick wet in fucking months that we don't actually talk. And when we try, I don't know what to say.

Sadly, I know that he thinks about me all the time and how much he loves me. My brain is preoccupied with whether what I feel is real because I can't feel anything when he's not around. I look at everything I do when I am with him and feel like that is a completely separate me. It's the same the seldom times I get to talk to him. I am slightly less warm and fuzzy and caught up in love, but I still feel something alive in me that is not there all the time. Is this thing love or is it just excitement or nervousness? Regardless, I only get to talk to him for maybe 20 minutes tops once a week.

I don't feel like I can make a clear call on any of this though because of the distance. I can't even imagine what life with him in even the same state would be like. I can't imagine what I would feel or feel like. All I know is what I feel (or don't) right now. Gah... I should write a letter and get this out to him rather than blogging about it. Maybe this is just my fucking PMS speaking... Right now, I'm just going to watch the Matrix Trilogy and hope some good sci fi will make me feel happier.