Slacking much we have been. This past month has flown by like a damn whirlwind and that is all I have felt the entire time. I've been pulled and pushed in so many different directions. I haven't spent one weekend to myself all month long. It's a little intense. Whew... Let me guide you through my adventures and mishaps.
Don't DIAF, TIA:
My first section will pertain to a fellow I have met on the internet. He messaged me soon after the incident with Mr. Douchebag McGee and I was just like, "Ugh, fucking sexy ass beefcake firefighter, but probably a fucking clamhat-seeking douchewad." I promptly made my profile as bitter as possible and posted a picture showing the universe just how big my ass really is. And he still messaged me. Then I decided he was probably dumb as shit and after making out with him, I would just cast him aside. Then we talked on the phone... and it was semi awkward, so I thought "That's it. He's totally not going to want to talk to me again." And he still messaged me. So I talked with him on the phone the next night about cars and how mine had a tail light busted out. He offered to come over and fix it, if I didn't think that was crazy. I didn't so he came over and we had a fabulous trip to Wal-mart... because I am that kind of classy. He was actually cool and knew how to fix everything in the universe. Anyways, so after he saw me IRL i expected that to be the end of it... but, noooo, he messaged me when he got home. So then I invited him to the 90s Alternative Sing Along with some of my peeps...
90s Alternative Sing-Along:
What gives me a GIANT RAGING LADYBONER? Oh yeah, 90s alternative music. This was originally going to be an "invite all my friends/ try to get into the pants of the Smashing Pumpkins-obsessed British fellow I work with" night. Then I decided that Al, the Brit, was flaky and only liked miniature blonde people, so I didn't give a shit about him anymore. I invited Stephen, the firefighter, because in his first message to me he told me he had the Smashing Pumpkins heart logo tattooed in the middle of his back. So obvs, he's a 90s alt fan. So Lauren, Bibi, Patrick, Stephen and I all headed out to the Alamo Drafthouse for a fun night of awesomeness. They played two Smashing Pumpkins songs! And Stephen wanted to go up and dance on stage for Blind Melon so all my friends got on stage and we all danced our asses off and it was sooooo fun. It was truly a fucking awesome night. At the end of it Lauren and Stephen and I went back to my place and Lauren promptly left with Stephen soon after, leaving me with a hug and thoughts that maybe we are just friends.
Enter Del Rio:
After all those shenanigans, I drove to Del Rio to visit my favorite Eva. We had some girly times the first night and the second night was made of crazy. We went to Mexico and got beyond shitfaced. At one point in time we were in a bar and Eva was kissing on this dude that she was with and then we started making out. Definitely an experience. haha. We went back to Del Rio that night and I promptly went into Eva's bedroom and passed the fuck out, only to wake up a while later making out with someone and being groped. My immediate reaction was not what most people's would be. I was all into it and made out with him all the while groping in the dark trying to figure out who in the hell I was making out with. When he asked me if I had a condom, I immediately declined, because though I am slutty enough to make out with a faceless, nameless stranger in the dark, I am still a virgin... barely. I then asked him his name and found out it was just some guy I had never met before. We messed around a little bit more and he left when it was still dark so I didn't know what he looked like until I looked him up on facebook the next morning. He was definitely not someone I would have picked out of a room of people to mess around with, but he was decent. I didn't throw up in my mouth or anything about it.
Everyone Come to Austin! Wait... WHOA:
So the next weekend, everyone came to visit. I, for one, was super excited... until I realized that all hell was breaking loose and I had to show all these people (including an unexpected Mikey) around town and had to keep Patrick and Brandon off Eva's nuts and omgholyshitfuckwhat STREEESSSSSSSSSS. So the night that everyone got down here I ended up having a slight breakdown. After that, I was ok and everything was good. I was just a little stressed that first night. Something did come out of that crazy ass visit, but I'll touch on that in a bit.
Home Sweet Home:
Last weekend was spent in the lovely town of Huffman with my sister and our buddy Dave Green. I got retarded every night. Personally, I think we had a really fun visit. I ended up staying an extra night to hang out and have fun. Nothing really, really exciting happened except in my altered state I learned how to walk like I didn't have any legs and scared the shit out of my sister. I love her. (:
When a Man and Woman Love Each Other Very Much:
THEY GET COMMITTED ALL OVER THE GOD DAMN PLACE. Holy Christ on lollerskates. My old roommate Amy got engaged. Lauren is in a relationship... or a fucklationship... or an awesomedates+sexlationship. As a result of that weekend in Austin, Eva and Brandon are hanging out somewhere off the market. Jenna has chosen monogamy over threesomes. The dynamic is shifting. More and more I notice that my friends are becoming more willing to commit and be monogamous and I keep noticing that I am friends with a lot more married/engaged people. Is it really that time in my life? Guess, I missed the commitment train when it bulleted past me. More like I was on it for five seconds and then was like "WTF I have no ticket!" and got tossed off. But god damn did that little ride teach me some things. I've completely gotten over any feelings I had for Sean. We are friends now and I see him as a brother. As much love as we shared, we cannot communicate and anything between us cannot work out. I feel like the reason he stepped into my romantic life briefly was to teach me some things:
- I can do better than the guys I was biding my time with before him.
- I proved that I can stand up for myself and my independence even when I am caught up in love.
- I realized that I was not treating my body or my life how it should be treated.
- I finally got closure on that chapter of my life.
- And it got me to start actively dating again.
Coming up:
Ah yes. What's coming up? I've got a camping trip planned out this weekend with Eva, Brandon, Patrick, Lauren, and hopefully my little sister. I also may or may not (third time's a charm?) go hot tubbing with Stephen on Thursday. I also chatted with him the last night about pr0n and fetishes. I don't really know what's up with that. But god damn it next weekend I am refinishing my coffee table and going to the lake or something. I need some me time.
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