Pointless Movie Review: Sex and the City

This is more a review of my own emotional state than that of the movie. If you haven't seen it, don't read it. I don't want to get any god damn, "WAHHHH!!! You spoiled it for me!" comments. This film was so predictable that you probably don't even need to read this to know what happens in the end.

Where I have always tended to like Sex and the City, based upon the fact that it tends to show the reality over some fictitious, happily ever after bull shit. At least that is what I had assumed from the episodes I have seen. This movie was all about happy endings. Everyone got what they wanted in the end. Everyone had love. Awwww.... Let's all take a big mushy collective sigh. Though this to most would seem like something to have you leave the theater with warm fuzzies, especially if you are involved with someone, it left me feeling incredibly depressed and like I wanted to go home and cry.

I swear... The rest of this will probably harm my integrity as a human being, but I need to get it the fuck off my chest.

Can I fucking feel? I mean seriously. That shit in that movie. I am the happiest I have ever been when I am with Sean. He brings such amazingness to my life and is incredibly sweet for the most part. But when we are apart, I completely fucking second guess this. I can't even tell if I really fucking feel for him or if it's that when he is here I just get so caught up in the warm fuzzy feelings of being with him for the two weeks at a time that I get once every three or four or six months. I would have a conversation with him about this, but him being in god damned Afghanistan puts a little fucking damper on us having any real conversations. And when we are really together, his mind is too preoccupied with the fact that he hasn't gotten his dick wet in fucking months that we don't actually talk. And when we try, I don't know what to say.

Sadly, I know that he thinks about me all the time and how much he loves me. My brain is preoccupied with whether what I feel is real because I can't feel anything when he's not around. I look at everything I do when I am with him and feel like that is a completely separate me. It's the same the seldom times I get to talk to him. I am slightly less warm and fuzzy and caught up in love, but I still feel something alive in me that is not there all the time. Is this thing love or is it just excitement or nervousness? Regardless, I only get to talk to him for maybe 20 minutes tops once a week.

I don't feel like I can make a clear call on any of this though because of the distance. I can't even imagine what life with him in even the same state would be like. I can't imagine what I would feel or feel like. All I know is what I feel (or don't) right now. Gah... I should write a letter and get this out to him rather than blogging about it. Maybe this is just my fucking PMS speaking... Right now, I'm just going to watch the Matrix Trilogy and hope some good sci fi will make me feel happier.

Fuck being angry at PETA...

My hair looks too fucking good for that shit.

Hell fucking yes.

And one more thing to remember in your life:
Rise up this morning
Smiled with the risin' sun
Three little birds
Pitched by my door step
Singing sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Sayin' "This is my message to you-ou-ou"
Singin' don't worry 'bout a thing
Cuz every little thing gonna be alright.

Veggie Vent No. 2

Ahhh... yes. Now I understand. Look at this headstone that an avid member of PETA put next to Colonel Sanders' grave.

Yeah... Let me tell you. That is pure fucking art. Thank you Matt Prescott for making my transition into veganism that much easier. ASSHOLE! Have we learned nothing from fucking civil disobedience? No one gets anything accomplished being a giant obnoxious douche bag! And the fucking comments after this post was made.

"kelly: i completely agree with you! animals are more important than some sentimentalities concerning graveyards! torturing an animal to death is worse than anything else! there are people on this blog which i doubt if they really are for animal protection or just distracting the people - as for example welcoming antibloggers for 'enlightening' discussions!"

"This is a great idea of a courageous personality - I shall do one for myself also!"

"This is so kick ass! Well done.................!"

"This isn't supposed to bring educational awareness in the same way that a piece of literature would. This is just meant to bring awareness. Period.
You have to admit, it's different. Different gets attention.
This is meant to just provide an opening for what should become an educational conversation regarding KFC's cruelty. (Did you hear what Peta did today...)
Having this on a grave doesn't bother me one bit...
This gave me an idea! When I die, I'll make sure there is something on my stone regarding animal cruelty. Being against animal cruelty has defined so much of my life and so much of my person, there is no reason why I shouln't have something on there regarding that.
Thanks for the idea!"

And the list goes on. You have got to fucking be shitting me. Applauding this bullshit. This will bring awareness alright. Awareness that vegans and vegetarians and animal rights activists are a bunch of fucking disrespectful assholes. Do these people live in a fucking cave? America is not a country full of people that will look at this and go, "Wow, this guy really has a point." I mean what would happen if fucking Martin Luther King just walk up to the leader of the KKK, whip out his dick and piss on his robe and say, "That's for mistreating my people."? In whatever fucked up dream world this assholes live in, the leader of the KKK would have gone, "Oh ok... Dude, I'm sorry. My bad, yo. Hey guys, cut those n*****s... I mean, fellow human beings we were planning on lynching down from that tree; I made a mistake. Oopsie!"

NO. He would have fucking filled his face full of lead and then looked at all African Americans as dirty, disrespectful people that don't know what a toilet is, giving them another reason to hate. When people look upon a group negatively, they go to great measures to find more reasons to hate them. People don't view animal rights activists as level-headed, intelligent beings who just want to get out there, spread the word and raise awareness. They see them as out of control extremists spewing out bull shit propaganda that they fictionalized based upon one or two instances. Doing things like this adds disrespectful to the list.

It's funny because when I tell some people that I'm being vegan for my health they are often more ok with it than if I was to tell them I was doing it for the animals. How detached from reality are these people? You can spread awareness without being negative or extreme. Having real conversations with people instead of hating might help. I don't know. I don't have the answers. All I know is that this cannot be effective and only gives all of us a bad name.

Veggie Vent No. 1

I've cooled down about this a bit but I wanted to blog about it anyways. As you all know, I've been eating mostly vegan and sometimes vegetarian for the past two weeks. I feel really good about it. I'm trying new things. I've had a lot more energy. I've been losing weight. I've just overall been happier.

I've slowly been coming out about being vegan to all my friends and family because I am kind of scared about what they will say to me. For the most part, I've been met with little to no resistance. Mostly, I get, "Why are you doing that, Samantha? Is meat not wonderful?" The past few people I have told this to are med/nursing students and they have given me a shit ton of resistance.

What set me off is that today I had lunch with my old roommate Amy. When I roomed with her freshman year, I was vegetarian and then I stopped shortly after. When we got lunch, I got a big sandwich full of veggies and as I was going to take my first bite into it she asks, "Are you vegetarian again?" I said, "Yes." and she began.

"Vegetarians only get carbs in. You don't get enough protein. Oh, you're doing it because of a book? What was the book about? Is that even accurate? That's not healthy. TVP is genetically modified. blah blah blah."

You get the point. I love Amy to death and I know that she has my best interest in mind, but it just makes me sad when people take such an opposition to my choices in life. All I could do was try to describe to her how much better I feel and how it wasn't like I just removed meat from everything I used to eat. If that was the case, I would be living off of cheeseburgers sans the burger, fries, and ice cream. I feel like my food options are limitless and I am trying more new things and combinations. For instance, today, I made vegan ranch dressing from scratch. I never even cooked when I was omnivorous.

I also got flack from my friend Patrick who said I sounded like PETA. When in the fuck did giving a shit about animals become a bad thing? Where are these veg people that made such a ruckus that gave all vegetarians and vegans a bad name? I don't try to force my choice not to eat meat on anyone, yet I still have to handle them pushing their choice to eat it on me. It's just how people are I guess.

But for just a little shameless told-ya-so, I went to the butt doctor today and he checked out my shit and told me that I've allowed myself to heal through my vegan diet and that I should stick with it because it's very good for me. I did a little told-ya-so dance in my car and laughed a little. It made things a little better.

Week Two: In Review

I'm taking some time out of my increasingly busy life to give the beautiful people of the world who do not read my blog an update. Work has been keeping me very, very busy, but I love it! I had a little break down on Friday because I had been working straight all week and I got really stressed out because of some insurance shit, but I got that taken care of. I paid a visit to my family this weekend after that because I felt like I needed to get away for a bit. I told them that I am a vegetarian/vegan again and they handled it better than expected. We had a giant vegetable grill (with seafood and quail for the fams) on Sunday night and it was FABULOUS!

I weighed myself on Saturday and I am down to 234. I have more and more energy in my life and I keep feeling better and better. I felt like I was crashing Friday night after my insurance stuff. I went out to Sonic and got a grilled cheese, cheesy tots, and a hot fudge sundae and was thinking fuck... it's all downhill from here. But, I woke up Saturday morning with a positive out look and didn't beat myself up for eating a pile of shit the night before.

I've been working on cleaning up my living room. I have managed to keep my kitchen clean with no dishes piled in the sink for two weeks! That is a huge deal for me. Let's hope I can keep it up. I've started a collection of things I don't need and things that other people have left at my house and am going to start selling and giving stuff away. I'm going to give the people that own the other stuff a chance to reclaim it, but I am not a Public Storage so the stuff has got to go. Hopefully, I'll get the living room cleaned up by tomorrow evening, so I can start decluttering this weekend.

I've got my bootyhole doctor's appointment on Thursday as well as a lunch date with my old roomie Amy, a haircut on Friday, Sex and the City at Alamo on Saturday, and nekkid beaches on Sunday followed by the Steve Miller Band. I'll post some updates as I feel they are necessary, but I'll most def get a pic of my hair up. I'm really excited about what I have planned for my head!

Week One: In Review

This week has been an adventure. My air conditioning was out for 3 days this week and my kitchen sink has been clogged so I get done nearly what I've wanted to get done around the house. Despite all that, I did rearrange my room and clean up my kitchen so that was good. I cleaned up my bedroom and bathroom last night and it looks beautiful and so much more spacious. It's awesome waking up in the morning with the sun shining in my face! I hope to keep my room this way for a while (fingers crossed). I weighed myself on Saturday and I am at 240. Whether I can trust my home scale or not is a mystery. We'll just have to see as time moves along.

I just got a job with Bazaarvoice. Today was my first day and it was wonderful! Everyone in the office is very, very friendly and they have ping pong tables and massage chairs and all kinds of cool stuff. I'm making $15 an hour, which is pretty damn good. I'm making more than my momma!

Friday night I went clubbing with Bibi at Elysium, a goth club here in Austin with beaucoups of creep-os. They were having Cure tribute night, so I got on the most gothic clothes I could find. These clothes happened to be from my senior year in high school, which, surprisingly, fit me alright. To the left you can see me trying to fake goth as hard as possible. haha.

Saturday evening, Eva and I drove up to Dallas for the Radiohead concert. Oh my god. It was amazing. Thom Yorke fucking rocked my ass off. I don't even know what to say about it. It was all just a dream come true! ::le sigh:: I also got to visit my little buddies James and Brandon. It was good to see some people from home and spend some time with those guys.

Eva and I came back to Austin last night and I was surprised with a box full of organic soaps and lip balms and lotions from my dearest. Eva and I pampered ourselves for a while and then she came to boxing with me. After that, we went on a Whole Foods adventure! I got some veggies and vegan meats and cheeses and yogurts. There is always so much cool stuff there. (: I've been eating pretty much solely vegan or vegetarian foods since my last post. Meat and dairy have just been making me feel all dirty. I've noticed that I have a shit ton more energy, which is awesome and I'm trying out new fabulous things in the kitchen! All in all this has been an awesome week. I'm hoping it is just a taste of what is to come in the future. We'll just have to see...

Book Review: Skinny Bitch

Skinny Bitch was a book my boyfriend bought for me because he knows I struggle with my weight and am always trying to find something that will stick. He preempted his sending it to me with, "Don't hate me. It's a funny book." I told him that it probably wouldn't work because nothing ever and that I probably wouldn't finish it because I don't have time to read. But, I did finish it.

First off, this book is fucking hilarious. The girls who wrote this book have just as much of a dirty sailor's mouth as I do. I was reading through the first few chapters laughing. It was a little heavy on the organic food stuff that I don't really have the discretionary income to be spending on. As I read along, I soon realized that I was reading a piece of pro-vegan lit. I felt a little duped, but I kept reading.

I have seen the pamphlets passed out by Peta around campus. I've flipped through the little booklets with the pictures of the little cows and pigs sadly staring at the camera all dirty, covered in their own shit with missing hair and cuts. I've seen the malnourished featherless chickens all cramped together in one tiny cage. And, call me a fucking cunt, I never really gave a shit because animals taste like delicious. This book is the first time I have ever read or seen pro-vegan lit and reevaluated what I was eating. They made me feel stupid for not caring and eating meat like there wasn't an issue and there was nothing wrong with it. Maybe it's just the way it was written that finally made me go, "Hmm... Maybe the vegans have a point." I don't think that I'm going to immediately jump on the vegan bandwagon, but I am going to start introducing more vegetarian foods into my diet and more soy stuff (because the chapter on milk made me want to vom) just to try it out.

On a separate note:

My AC in my apartment is dead. It's hot. ): And I went from sweltering apartment to boxing gym that has no AC and worked out for two fucking hours. I worked out until I nearly passed out and then drove home and passed out on the floor for a while, because my bed is covered in stuff. My bed is covered in stuff because I woke up this morning and has some strange urge/ obsession to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom. I'll post pictures when I get it all cleaned up.

PS:

Summer of Change

You can call me Samantha Jean. I'm a graphic and website designer in Austin and an advertising student at the University of Texas. I'm graduating in December and am trying my damnedest to prep up for that.

This is my last summer vacation. What better a time to grow the fuck up before I am thrust out into the real world. This past semester has been one of the most stressful yet and was the most taxing on my mind, body and living situation. To put it shortly, everything in my life is currently in a downward spiral to disaster... everything but that involving my career and work situations. Thank baby jesus that something is going right. Here's the sitch:

My Body:

For about a month and a half before a couple of weeks ago, I was on a straight up fast food diet. I had an addiction to it. It was like my crack cocaine. It made me feel better when I was feeling sad or pissed. It was a reward for me when I accomplished something. I ended up gaining 20 pounds in about two months and found that I was easily exhausted with any simple activity. I also got tendinitis in my foot around this period in time, so I wasn't doing much for my body as far as exercise goes. I am currently at 250 pounds.

WARNING: If poops creep you out, just skip the next paragraph.

About a week or two ago, I went to the doctor because my ass was bleeding more than normal whenever I took a shit. I say more than normal because it is a typical thing for my ass to bleed after shitting, but I never paid any attention to it because I come from a family where you don't need to go to the doctor unless you are dying. I figured my poops were just too big. Turns out, I have a polyp on my asshole. For those of you that don't know, untreated polyps turn into cancer. It was recommended that I highly increase my fiber and start exercising more.

Luckily, right before this polyp situation reared it's ugly head, I was already deciding to make some change. I knew I needed to stop with this fast food shit I was eating. I watched Supersize Me because everyone I heard that watched it was like, "Ewwwww. I will never eat fast food again." The film really had no effect other that me thinking, "Yeah. I can relate. I am feeling all this shit right now." I was at a McDonald's later that evening scarfing down a Big and Tasty with fries and a root beer. That was the last fast food I have really eaten since then though. So something must have taken effect.



My Apartment:

This is a disaster zone. I don't give half a shit if people come over and see what it looks like because that is how I live and they know it. I've decided I am going to start caring though because it is an unhealthy, unprofessional, just plain nazty environment. I can't find anything. I have dirty dishes everywhere growing god knows what on them. I can't have my clients come by because it shows what an actual college student I am, as opposed to this picturesque mature, very professional, wise beyond her years, business associate that just so happens to go to college. I definitely don't want that.

Just so you know I'm not one of those neat freaks (like the majority of my friends are) that thinks that having a sheet of paper on my coffee table constitutes dirty, here are some photos of my lovely living areas.

The bedroom:

The Living Room: (How I live in here is beyond me)

The Kitchen: (Yes, that is a broken beer bottle.)

My Time-Management:

As I said, this semester was one of the most stressful ones I have experienced to date. I don't expect the next to be any better. I have an extreme case of procrastination because, bottom line, I hate school. I feel like I am wasting my time and my parents money all for a piece of paper that will put me into the work force four years behind my peers. It would be more of my parents money to drop out after being here for three years though, so I stick with it and have tried to get out as fast as possible.

I have stayed up longer than ever this past semester. My longest period of time without sleep: 46 hours. I'm still trying to recover from my lack of sleep the past three months. Not sleeping sucks. Also, wasting the best parts of my day sleeping my ass off from my lack of sleep at night time sucks worse.

I stumbled upon the whole GTD (getting things done) revolution from some article on Digg and downloaded a program thinking, "Yay. A giant to do list for me to keep on top of shit." After talking to one of my friends about it and finding out that he had the book and lent it to me to read. I just started reading it last week and am finding out how to actually use the program to help me be more productive.

The Plan:

My plan is to streamline my life for better all around health. I'm going to document it all right here to keep myself accountable. I'll start off by finishing the books Getting Things Done and Skinny Bitch to help prep myself for this venture. I'll be going to a boxing gym three times a week to get some scheduled physical activity in. I'm also making lists of daily and weekly to do's to post around the house to keep my shit all neat and tidy and my body taken care of. I'm going to post my list up and if you have any suggestions or words of wisdom (for anything), please comment me with them. Here are my lists:

Morning:

• Go on a bike ride
• Shower
• Moisturize
• Deodorize (I forget to put on deodorant sometimes. Don't judge me.)
• Take vitamins and birth control
• Brush teeth
• Take photo (I'm taking a photo a day to track body changes. A possible motivator?)
• Make your bed
• Make breakfast and pack lunch
• Put any dishes into sink
• Feed Thomas K (my cat) and Holden (my turtle)

Evening:

• Lift weights
o Bicep curls
o Triceps extensions
o Shoulder press
o Chest press
o Lunges
• Brush teeth
• Wash and moisturize face
• Put dirty clothes in the basket
• Clean dishes and tidy up kitchen
• Process all papers
• Refill all water bottles
• Pick up your crap off the floor
• Scoop kitty shitty
• Water plants
• Paint nails with protein polish

Every Saturday:

• Do laundry (Don’t forget bed sheets and dish towels)
• Dust
• Take out trash
• Vacuum
• Blog
• Take off protein polish
• Weigh myself
• Pamper yourself somehow